Subtitle

Aim:

So it finally happened.

I always knew it would, I could see it coming from miles away.

But has it really been that long?

Since when did these miles become mere inches?

Since when did these short days become such long months?

I don’t know.

After getting one last look, I take a walk to clear my head

Strolling down the silent, empty corridor

Peeking into the other rooms to see what else had misery visted

But instead, I’m jolted

My ears not perceiving silence, but joy.

Look at them laughing

All beaming with happiness in a time of despair.

Why don’t I have time for that anymore?

How can they just keep living on like nothing’s wrong?

Realizing my face has begun to reflexively scrunch up,

I swallow my envy

And turn to leave the room.

My head was full of thoughts,

I take to the streets

Enveloped in the inky blackness of the night

With the streetlights vanquishing the dark with their beacons of hope.

What happens now?

Are they going to be okay?

I suppose it’s only a matter of time before they see what’s lying beyond that door

Before the entire world comes crashing down.

What about Katie?

Will she be alright?

I doubt it.

I've spent most of our time together causing problems

Pulling her leg all these years

And I'm sure that what happened this time will be the final yank strong enough to shatter her ankle.

I really am sorry about what happened, Kate.

I hope you know that I still love you,

But I'm sure once you find out what's waiting behind that door

You'll find someone else.

Time waits for no man,

And the world must spin on.

Aside from Kate, there are so many people that are going to be affected by what I've been involved in.

My coworkers

My employers

My classmates

My best friend

And I can't even begin to think about my family.

I can’t help but worry about what’s going to happen to my mother and father,

Or little Ava at home.

…My throat begins to tighten.

Ava.

My mindless walking slowly turns into a run

As my thoughts swarm my head

Racing in a circling frenzy.

I rush home as fast as I can

Praying that they are okay,

But my haste dies in a heartbeat and I stop dead in my tracks

As the warm house lights shine off into the darkness with silhouettes inside that look all too familiar.

I walk through the front door and look inside.

Even after all these years, it still looks the same.

There Dad sits on the couch laughing,

Still managing to never get sick of his favourite show after all these years

While Mom sits in her armchair,

Weaving more comfy blankets to tuck in Ava at night.

A smile slowly creeps up on my face as I notice that Mom and Dad never changed.

But I did.

I don’t have the heart to check up on Ava.

I don’t want to look into her gleaming eyes just so that mine can never meet hers again.

And then, in only a fraction of a second

That wave of melancholic relief that washed over me at that moment finally ran dry.

I knew that the moment we heard the landline start ringing

The door had been opened.

I knew that the moment you brought the receiver to your ear

The moment you brought your hand up to your mouth,

You wanted to cry.

We both did.

I wish I could tell you I’m alright

I wish you could hear me cry for you

I wish you could feel me wrapping my arms around you

but to no avail,

here we are.

I know you’re sad,

I know that you’re scared

but it’s okay

I’m right here.

There’s so much that I want to say to you

So much that I’d like for you to forget

but from the outside looking in

there’s nothing I can do.

I can scream

I can plead

I can beg

I can yell

I can grab you

I can hold you

I can embrace you

I can comfort you in as many ways as possible

but no matter what I try, you don’t hear a thing.

To communicate in such a way, ‘tis but a drowning scream.